After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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