I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
