Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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