Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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