In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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