it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
