Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
