im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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