if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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