It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
