oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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