So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
