On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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