Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
