Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
