i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
