Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will pee on everything he values.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
