I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
