Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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