I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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