I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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