I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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