You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
