I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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