Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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