I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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