Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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