my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
