I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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