His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize