you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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