your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
