I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
