I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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