The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
