like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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