Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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