I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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