that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
