Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
