he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She's the barista slut.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Randomize
