It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
