Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
