I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
