Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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