my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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