Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish they made helmets for livers.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How external is "for external use only"?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
