We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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