There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
