Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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