5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
