what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
