I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
