I wanna bring you to show and tell
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
