I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this just has baby written all over it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
